Emil Harker - Training for Marriage

Emil Harker

(KUTV) Salt Lake City - Today on Fresh Living Emil Harker, Author, Life Coach, and Therapist, sat down with the hosts to the importance of training for marriage and preparing your relationship for navigating the hard parts of life.

I recently received a call from a woman that was shocked when her husband called her told her, “I am in love with someone else and I want a divorce.”

After talking to her later, she revealed that they had become complacent in their marriage. Chalking up their lack of focus on the marriage as less important and less needy than work, kids, and vacations.

As the weeks turned to months and months turned to years the marriage slowly drifted away.

At the same time this was going down on I watched a documentary or Alex Hammold the rock climber that free Climbed (Solo) the 3000 shear granite face of El Capitan. The feat is unfathomable but his comments were even more astonishing. He said he wasn’t afraid anytime during the climb.

I started thinking about how Alex was able to overcome his fears that ultimately lead to his monumental success and how that compares to ultimate success in marriage. He described how he was relentless in his practice of climbing this wall and that he would focus his energy on the most difficult parts of the wall over and over again until it was a smooth choreographed dance. I thought, if Alex can free solo a 3,000 ft granite cliff where the slightest mistake could lead to ultimate death, why not train for marriage the same way.

I imagined if this husband and wife would have trained even a little bit in their marriage not only would they still be together but their children would still have their mom and dad together for this Thanksgiving and Christmas and the next 50 too. Instead, their lives are changed for ever.

What if we all lived our marriage on purpose and trained in our marriages to successfully navigate the hard parts of life without fear and experience ultimate success and satisfaction in life.

How to train for marriage?

  • Have fun. Date with purpose not just for entertainment. Create memories.
  • Learn communication skills especially conflict resolution skills so you can talk about anything without worrying about saying the wrong thing.
  • Get a book on romance or intimacy and talk about it together.
  • Seek feedback from each other on how you can meet each others needs better.

You can do it, and I can show you how.

Get Emil's free book by going to, EmilHarker.com/free-book

Find me on Instagram @emilharker

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