(KUTV) Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Emil Harker visited Fresh Living with some great passion boosters to reignite that spark in your relationship.
Emil says constant passion in a committed long term relationship is actually difficult to create because familiarity, and consistency breeds familiarity and monotony. Passion requires a touch of insecurity and vulnerability which means deeper sharing and caring.
Passion for men: Romance
- Write a love letter to your wife with specific details about what makes you love her so much.
- Plan a date. Something new or something that revolves around something your spouse really likes.
- Tractor Beam communication - Talk with complete wrapped attention with touch and caressing. Use emotional words like struggle, difficult, sad, disappointing, exciting, fun, interesting. to show that you are really paying attention. Not just uh huh, uh-huh etc.
- Stealth affection - Non sexual non demand physical touch. foot rub, play with hair.
- Long kisses, over 6 seconds before you go to work, not just when you come home from work.
- Encourage and support her independence and personal interests and hobbies and friendships and other activities.
Passion for women: Sexy
- Novelty - initiate sex in a creative way or different place.
- Rejuvinate Modesty - exercise modesty even in marriage. Close the door when you go to the bathroom. Turn your body away from your partner as you undress and dress. Then on special occasions "strip."
- Let Go - Go a little wild and push the boundaries of your comfort zone. Make more noise, make more movement.
- Go out - Break out of the daily grind, get out of the town or city you live, and take a two night retreat just the two of you. This allows you to escape the distractions that mom's constantly have, dirty dishes, kids, laundry, homework etc.
- Fresh eyes - Try "seeing" your spouse with fresh eyes. as if you were meeting him for the first time. Look at him differently, ask him questions about what he thinks about, what is important to him, show genuine interest in what he tells you. Show genuine interest in what he does.
- Build anticipation - Choose a date in the not too far off future and share your idea of a love making night with your spouse. Talk about what you would like to experience and have him share what he wants. Post pone going all the way until that planned moment. This will help mimic some of the self restraint that is actually an intimacy booster.