Emil Harker is here to talk about recovering from betrayal trauma. Emil says, "Betrayal trauma is a real thing. If that trauma isn't dealt with effectively, even if the betrayal behavior stops, the relationship may never recover. Trying to restore trust the old fashioned way, the passage of time without repeating the offense takes forever and sometimes doesn't work. Understanding the dynamics of betrayal helps the person who has betrayed and helps provide a framework for recovery. The strategies for restoring trust from infidelity or any sort of betrayal is a science.
There are two parts for restoring trust. The first part requires understanding the self-deception techniques of the person who was the betrayer and then confront those self-deception techniques with techniques personal accountability and self discipline. The second part of restoring trust is creating closeness. This is done by first working through the resentments that support the mis-trust which creates a sense of safety and connection. The other part is working together to design and create a custom built relationship. This requires learning the communication skills and strategies to put the ideal relationship into practice."