"Your Marriage is Your Fault"

Emil Harker

"Your marriage is your fault." At least, that's what marriage therapist and author of the book "You Can Turn Conflict into Closeness", Emil Harker, says.

Harker stopped by Fresh Living to talk about taking extreme ownership of your marriage, and how it can help you break out of stale mates and create the closeness you want. He says the success of your marriage us up to you.

The power of extreme ownership:

  • Own what you did wrong first. Often times we are reluctant to own any of our mistakes until the other person does. This results in a stale mate. Take the first step and own what you did wrong. Often times a contrite ownership sets to tone for the other to take ownership.
  • The lie: "I'm going to choose my battles." This is a cop out of laziness if the issue still bugs you. If you decide to let something go and it still bugs you it will cause resentment. If you really do choose your battles then you need to accept the consequences and not complain about it anymore.
  • Be your spouses ideal partner before asking them to change. - Taking ownership of your marriage means you are going to set the precedent for how you want your marriage. Lead by example, not by words.
  • By focusing in on your marriage being your responsibility you are able to see what can be done to make improvements. If you think that the success of your marriage is out of your control, you won't be able to know what to do to fix it.

You can find out how to take extreme owner of your marriage by going to: EmilHarker.com.